My menopause was caused by chemotherapy treatment when I was 47. I lost my hair at the same time. When I saw my oncologist and she asked whether my periods had stopped, which I confirmed, she made a remark about how positive it was to no longer be troubled with bleeding and contraception. I told her I was actually a bit devastated because even though I didn’t plan on having any more children, I wasn’t ready to stop bleeding. It’s one of the things I felt defined me as a woman. The whole experience felt like an assault on being female – breast surgery, baldness, and menopause. I stopped wearing jeans and started wearing girly dresses, trying to convince myself that ‘I’m still a woman’.
I was really fortunate to go through the hot flush stage very rapidly in around 6-8 weeks in 2019. So working in an office environment with air con involves spending a good proportion of the day taking on and off cardigans, scarves, and hats, regardless of the time of year. I seem to be more sensitive to minor temperature drops now that I’m post-menopausal. When I talk to my work colleagues who all seem to be peri- or menopausal, they’ll frequently complain about how they’re dripping with sweat and struggling with sleep deprivation from hot flushes. I feel so grateful I only experienced a couple of nights of disturbed sleep throughout my brief hot flush stage.
I’ve never heard anyone else comment about how they feel less like a woman. I feel some comfort hearing about my colleagues’ hot flushes and sleep disturbances because even though these symptoms are behind me, it gives me a sense of inclusion. It’s less isolating for me I guess.
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We’re all experiencing a collective phenomena.
Sarah
On the plus side: I’ve saved money on feminine hygiene products and contraception 🙂
Sexually, I think it’s all been about finding a truly compatible partner. No contraception has been a bonus! I started a new relationship after menopause, so a sensible reality was STD checks before commencing a sexual relationship without using condoms. And I also learnt not to believe the hype about vaginal dryness because of menopause – that’s a myth as far as I’m concerned 😉
If I were to imagine what conditions would make a workplace genuinely menopause friendly, I do get a bit stuck. Menopause seems so individual from my experience. I’d like to say things like personal fans, free ice-blocks, special leave provisions for sleep disturbance, nap/temperature regulation rooms, office chair chillers etc but I haven’t really had many deeply intensive conversations with women about personal preferences to know whether I’m just being a ‘bit precious’ – but these are the things that come to my mind.
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