I have had tooo many days without sleep to count. There’s no doubt that this has a role to play in what I’m experiencing. I have had a real sense of loneliness because it feels like nobody understands and definitely at work there’s no support. If I even start to broach the conversation I see the eye rolls begin – I deeply understand that they see it as an ‘old lady thing’ and so I stop sharing.
The turning point for me came in a package I wasn’t expecting. I have had all consuming, overwhelming rage. With everyone, and everything. My fuse is ready to blow. I haven’t experienced this ever before in my life. One day I was in a place that I have always felt was an extremely safe and secure place for me, a real nest. And yet even there, this one time, I completely blew my cool. That was actually terrifying to lose control so significantly. I had no idea what was happening. I had no idea how to ask for help. But I’ve had to learn.
Don’t be afraid to seek assistance, to advocate for yourself
Sian
Menopause has definitely made a dent on my relationship with my husband. I haven’t wanted to have sex with him for years now. It was really hard, but I finally found my voice telling my doctor how much I love my husband but yet how much I wanted him to stop breathing because his breathing annoyed my so very much – my doctors response was “sorry I can’t help you to stop his breathing” so I then told him ‘he sucked ‘- but after that he listened and we moved forward. There was a sense of relief in saying this out loud. Just like the relief of sharing this story too. I think many people have become scared of my rage. I do feel pretty lonely because of that.
The thing that has helped me the most has been to accept I need time to rest. I need to make time to put my own priorities first. I need to relax. I haven’t done this at other periods of my life. I need to do it now to quieten the silent rage of a lifetime of putting other’s needs first. I just can’t do that anymore.
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